Monday 11 October 2021

A conversation about Biscuits

The daddy saw his ten-year-old daughter sobbing in her room.

"Why are you crying, darling?"

"Because of Biscuit."

"Aww - I am still sad about Biscuit dying too. He was a really good dog."

"I'm also sad about him dying, but that is not why I am crying, daddy. When Biscuit died I cried because I was sad, but now I have been thinking about him dying and that made me think of Granny dying last year. Daddy, I don't want to die. I don't want to just stop like Biscuit did. I'm really scared daddy. Why do things die? Why did granny die? What will happen to me when I die?"

"You'll go to wherever Biscuit and granny went - and all the other people who die - you'll all be together. Won't that be nice - to be with all those people?"

"I suppose. But daddy wait - a lot of bad people die - I'm scared. I don't want to be with them."

"Oh, that's okay - those people won't be there. They go to a different place. Only nice people go where you will go and that will be a long time from now, okay?"

The little girl sat very still and thought for a while.

"There was a girl in my school who got sick. The teacher said there was something wrong with her blood. She stopped coming to school and then she just died, daddy. She was younger than me. I could die like her too, while I am a kid. You always tell me to look out when I cross the road because I could be hit by a car. I could die that way too."

"Well, there are a lot of ways a person can die, but it is very unlikely that a healthy little girl like you will die before you get old."

"I am still scared daddy. I could still die."

Both sat looking down for a while.

"And another thing, daddy" the little girl said, "Some people are good and bad at the same time. Sometimes I am bad. What if I am bad enough to go to the place the bad people go?"

"You are not bad enough to go there darling"

"Daddy!" she sounded exasperated, "you have to say stuff like that because you are my dad! But everybody does bad and good things. You say that uncle Mike drinks too much and cusses too much, but uncle mike is, like, my favourite uncle because he is so kind to me. If uncle Mike dies, where will he go?"

"I am sure uncle Mike will be with the good people"

"But how can you be sure? I need to be sure. I am so scared that I am not good enough to be with the good people. I want to be sure that you and mommy will be with me in that place."

"Er, if you do enough good stuff it covers over the bad stuff - so just be good enough, okay?"

There was another long silence.

"Daddy, remember when Billy broke your binoculars and hid them under his bed, and told you he didn't know where they were? He spent the whole week being nice to everyone and doing his chores and everything, but then mommy found the broken binoculars under his bed and you got really cross with him and grounded him and even took away his allowance so that you could pay for new binoculars. Just the day before all that I remember you telling Billy that he was being so good and had really matured and that you were proud of him."

"Yes, but I don't understand how ..."

"Billy did a lot of good things that week, but they still weren't enough. His bad thing was too big and he was still punished. How do we know when we have done enough good to stop us from going to the bad people place?"

"I don't know."

"Are you scared of dying too daddy?"

"Everybody is scared of dying. Dying can be painful."

"No, daddy. I'm not talking about how you die. It is okay to be scared of that. Being scared of pain makes sense. But I am scared of finding out, after I died, that I wasn't good enough to be with the good people...and with Biscuit. Who gets to decide if we are good enough anyways?"

"Well some people believe in God. That he keeps a record and then decides where we go."

"Sort of like Santa Claus?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

"I sounds like it is very important to know as much about God as possible. How long do we stay in the good or bad place after we die?"

"A lot of people say it is forever."

"That is a long time, huh?"

The dad nodded.

"How long is forever, anyways? Is it like ten times as long as I've been alive?"

The dad frowned as he tried to think of a way of explaining eternity to his little daughter.

"You know last summer, when we went to the beach. Remember all the sand? Remember how I turned my binoculars around and we used them like a microscope to look at all the pretty grains?"

"Yes, I remember. I held some on my fingertip and they were all shapes and colours."

"Remember when I asked you to count how many grains were on your finger using the binoculars?"

"I ran out of numbers!"

"Yes, you did. Now that was just a bit of sand on your fingertip. Imagine how much sand was on the whole beach!"

"There was like – gadzillions of grains!"

"Now imagine each grain was worth ten years ... forever is much longer than even that!"

The daughters eyes were huge and the dad felt quite proud of his illustration.

"But daddy, that is soooooo long. I would love to spend all that time with granny and Biscuit and other good people. But...what if you aren't there because God decides you weren't good enough? What if I wasn't good enough and we both went to the bad place? We would be stuck with bad people doing bad things forever!"

"Don't worry so much about it, darling. I'm sure you and I will be in the good place with old Biscuit."

"But how can you be sure? If forever is so long then this must be the most important thing in the world to know for sure about."

"I guess you are right."

"I want to find out more about God, and the good place and how to stay away from the bad place."

"Okay. Well the only way to do that is to read the Bible, I guess."

"Do we have a Bible?"

"Granny left hers for us with some of her other stuff. It is in a box of her old books in the attic."

"Let's get it and read it."

"Not now honey, daddy's tired."

"But you could die today! So could I! We need to sort this out. I won't be able to sleep. Forever in the bad place is scary and I am also scared of missing out spending forever in the good place. This is more important than anything else! Did you ever read the Bible?"

"Granny used to read it to me when I was younger."

"What did it say about God and how we get to be in the good place?"

"Er, it was a long time ago, but you know how at Christmas time everybody all talks about it being about celebrating the birth of baby Jesus?"

"Yes"

"Well Jesus came here to save us from the bad place, that is why we celebrate his birthday."

"How does Jesus save us from the bad place, daddy?"

"I think the Bible says what you said earlier, that we are all mixtures of good and bad. That having any bad in us makes us bad even if you do good - like Billy and the binoculars."

The dad was starting to remember what his mother had said to him over and over around the kitchen table and sitting on his bed at night – he was starting to realise how wise his mum had been.

"But that means we are all going to the bad place!" the daughter exclaimed.

"Yes, we are all bad enough to go to the bad place unless Jesus saves us."

"So how does he do that?"

"Well you know on Easter when we give you a chocolate bunny and we have an Easter egg hunt in the garden? That is actually a holiday where lots of people, like your granny did, celebrate the death of Jesus."

"WHAT?! I thought people would be sad that he died - if he is the one who rescues us from going to the bad place, why would anybody be glad he died?"

"Ah - but granny told me that the Bible says that it was by dying for us that Jesus saved us. Many times in history people have given up their own lives to save others. Do you remember that story on TV where the little boy and his baby sister were caught in a snowstorm and he wrapped his coat around his sister and then hugged her beneath a tree to keep her warm and the next day they found her alive but he had died of the cold just to save her?"

"Yeah, that story was so sad. I guess I understand that a person can die to save others but didn't Jesus die a long time ago and far far away? How could him dying save me all the way here and now?"

"Jesus wasn't a normal person, darling. He was very special, one of a kind. When he died, his death was able to save everybody"

"Everybody?"

"Everybody"

"Even the bad people?"

"Well it is a bit complicated. You said it yourself - we are all bad people. So in one way Jesus dying can save bad people but there is still a place full of bad people who have died that Jesus didn’t save."

"So how do we know if we are one of the bad people who Jesus does save?"

"Ah - I think it is because you have to believe in Jesus."

"Like granny did?"

"Yes. She really did you know. She talked about him all the time. She even talked to him!"

"Did he say stuff back?"

"Not as I ever heard - no. But she read her Bible every day. And she was really kind to other people. She told people about Jesus and she went to church. Even when she was alone, she would sing to him and pray to him. Sometimes she would cry."

"Why did Jesus make her cry?"

"I think she cried mainly because she was sorry for a bad thing she had done that day."

"How do you know that?"

"Sometimes I would be in the other room and I would hear her crying and praying and saying what she was sorry for."

"Is being sorry for being bad part of not going to the bad place?"

"You ask good questions! No, I don't think so. Billy was really sorry for breaking my binoculars and lying about them. It was right to be sorry but his being sorry didn't stop him from getting punished - it was a start though."

"If Jesus had saved granny from the bad place, why then did she cry when she did a bad thing?"

"Well, you don't know this, but after I had grounded Billy and docked his pocket money - a few days after in fact - Billy came up to me, sat next to me and told me that I was right to punish him and he still felt awful for having let me down and for lying to me. He even said he felt bad for doing all those good things just to hide his bad deed. Maybe granny felt bad for letting Jesus down, even though he had saved her."

"That makes sense. So to stay away from the bad place and get into the good place we need to be like granny. We need to believe in Jesus and stop being bad and when we do something bad we need to do kind of what Billy did, we need to come to God and say sorry for letting him down?"

"That sounds about right. Gosh, you really have made me think about stuff this afternoon! I guess both of us should read the Bible and find out more."

"Do you believe in Jesus, daddy?"

"I didn't think about him for years, but I guess that I do. Yeah, I do."

"Are you going to talk to God like Granny did? I know I am."

"Yes, yes I will." They smiled at each other.

"Yay - I think we will both end up in the good place. What a relief! Jesus must have been really kind. It is a pity he died. I would like to have met him."

"Well, that is where the Bible tells us something amazing. I remember what Granny taught me. Jesus died on a Friday but the Next Sunday he came alive again! And he is still alive, somewhere hidden. They say he will come back one day and everyone who dies, who is believing him, will go and be with him."

"So Jesus is in the good place now?"

"Yes, he's kind of the boss of the good place."

"And that is all in the Bible?"

"It's in there somewhere."

"Let's go and have a look!"

"Okay"

"Wait. Let’s tell Mummy and Billy about this too. I want them to be with us in the good place forever."

"Yes, let’s do that. But first give me a hug … I am so proud of you. You have made your daddy really think."

"Ha ha! … and it all started with dear old Biscuit"